Chris and I continue learning about each other’s writing styles and processes. 

Chris: What’s it like, critiquing your spouse’s writing (and vice versa)?

Me: You and I were critique partners before we were even dating, and having that history is helpful. Had we started critiquing each other after we were married — or, worse, at the flirty, god-I-hope-he-likes-me stage — it might have been tough to give honest feedback.

Or not. In a way I think of our critique group as part of our courtship. One of the things I love about you is the way you see my vision for a story and help me reach it, so perhaps the same is true for you. I never went easy on you, even after we got all romantic and smoochy. And I never felt that you changed your approach toward my work.

Now that we are married, I see even more of you in your writing. I understand your intentions more clearly. Occasionally I’ll know precisely what inspired a scene or line of dialogue, and I really enjoy that added dimension. If your feedback toward me has changed, it is only for the better. You have a deeper sense of what I’m striving toward and can make even more suggestions as to how I can attain it.

Are there downsides? Well … because I see your process and inspiration, I’m sometimes too aware of the work behind your writing. There might be sections that require a couple of readings before I can sink into the story. Or I might have read so many versions that I get confused.

I also wonder how our marriage has changed things for the other members of our writing group. Do they see us as a unit instead of two voices? I ask because of one meeting when we realized that we had very similar feedback, and we worried that it might appear as if we’d collaborated. We hadn’t, but it made me wonder if we should come up with rules. Like … never share our critique of someone’s work ahead of time lest we accidentally influence the other? Or maybe we should always share our critiques to make sure they aren’t too similar and focus on where our opinions differ?

On this matter, I could use some feedback.